DEAR FRIEND, I KNOW THAT THIS MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE.

Today I got this email from a guy I don’t know too well, and haven’t seen in many months. Hope the Anglophones out there can follow. Love the fact that its writing style bears resemblance to a 419 scam email!

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bonjour aoife ,

c' est [Name Deleted] comment allez vous j'espere que vous etez en forme ca fait longtemp est ce que tu es en kigali ? . pardon encore de vous adresse pour vous c'est la premiere fois . mais ca continue si tu me promets . [he means “permets” I expect]

aoife j' ai un petit probleme . je deja prendre un cour d' electronic and ict en face de soras mais pour les moment l ' ecole me demande beaucoup de minerval parce que c'est tres chers . c'est qu' on a besoin pour vous ceci . tu as travail en [Workplace deleted] charge de mettre le telecentre dans les province , [Workplace] il prend les eleve en charge pour payer les frais de scolarite si tu connais ou moin des personne travailler las bas je vous demande de mettre en contact avec leurs . pour gagner les frais parce que je besoin de continuer mes etude en ict & electronics

j'entend votre bonne reponse bonne soire

[Name] [Phone Numer]

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For those with French problems (or maybe I should say, without the problem of French) this is a plea for help for me to introduce the guy to someone in one of my previous workplaces to pay his fees for a course, presumably a night course or adult education thing. He states that my former workplace pays school fees for people.

Ok class, lets deconstruct the letter. Here’s some notable weirdness:

1. He doesn’t seem to know the name of the school he is attending , or it doesn't have a name, and lists it as “across the road from Soras" [insurance company offices]
2. This thing about me doing work on telecentres, was
1. From when I first came here in 2004, before he knew me
2. An aspect of my first position here which is not known to many people at all, even those who know me well professionally (mostly cause it never happened)
3. Not even attached to the workplace he lists but somewhere else I worked
3. The workplace he mentions certainly does not pay school fees for random people. Occasionally, yes it does pay for training for staff who have worked there over a reasonable period.
4. Actually this one is not weird but its worth noting that its almost impossible to get anything in this town (from a handout to a job) without knowing someone on the inside. Or knowing someone who can introduce you. The idea that its not what you know but who you know, is one of the most discouraging aspects for jobseekers here. Many young people I know simply don’t bother applying for advertised jobs where they don’t have an “inroad” of some kind.

Ok, so a few people in Kigali could have given him my email address but where did he get all this telecentre stuff from? Has he been Googling me? Hmmm…..